He may still love you. He probably does. He probably doesn’t know what he wants. He probably still thinks about you all the time. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he’s doing about it, and what he’s doing about it is nothing. And if he’s doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn’t do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.
I need someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 2 in the morning and will tell me their favorite songs and their family problems and how they think the earth was made
have you ever cried so hard it physically hurts your stomach because you wanted no one to hear
With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.
When you love someone, it should be easy. It might get hard during certain moments, but in the way you two get each other — it must be gloriously easy. Deep, soul-consuming yet effortless, magnificent, simple to the very core. Hearts connecting and communicating, instant flashes of one person’s reaching out and the other’s immediate encompassing of the initiative until reaching out feels powerfully mutual — it must be nothing other than that. Automatic bloody wanting, wanting and desiring. Choosing that person during your hardest, most painful, as well as ordinarily human moments. Laughing your ass off with them not in order to break the ice but just because it feels effortless even when things get dramatic. Directness of emotion. Occasionally losing consciousness of what feels like yourself and at the same time knowing that this is you addressing someone you love. Acceptance of whatever happens. Plain trust. Know how complicated it is and then state it simply — experience the other person not merely in terms of them understanding you but also in terms of fucking feeling it with you at that very moment — that’s what soul communication is about. When you love someone, man, it must be devastatingly real. It doesn’t need to be profound. It doesn’t need to be complicated beyond belief. Sure it can be all that, but then again, fuck that. Fuck any possible attempt at a description. Your entire being must yearn toward everything yearning is about. That’s the only way it happens. This yearning must be shared. True motherfucking unembellished, accurate soul connection. There it goes.